Why China #26

I got an email from my friend Melissa asking if it was okay to pass the torch to me in answering the question "Why China?" This question has been going around the blogs and I am #26 to answer the question. I have a feeling my answer is going to be long so kick back, grab a drink and read...

Why China? A very good question with a very long answer.

In order to do this I must rewind 10 years. Before Mike and I got married we had the talk about starting a family. Anyone who knows me knows how important family is to me and how much I wanted to be a mother one day. We both agreed that we were in no hurry but that children were in our hearts and our future. Well things happened much quicker than we anticipated and 5 months after we got married we found out that I was pregnant. We weren't trying but we were so excited that we were going to be parents. The happiness only lasted a few weeks as I miscarried at 8 weeks. I had an ectopic pregnancy. It was at that time that we started thinking more about having a baby. Over the next 5 years we went through 4 more miscarriages, the last one being another ectopic and resulting in me losing one of my tubes. All of the miscarriages were very hard on us but we still had hope of having a child. We decided to see a fertility specialist and went through all of the test and various treatments only to have one more miscarriage. It was at this time we felt that we couldn't put ourselves through anymore heartache.
During this time a good friend of mine at work was adopting from Ukraine. I had followed along with his journey and was so excited when he brought his sweet little girl home. This was the first time in years that I had a glimmer of hope that we could still be parents. In October of 2003 we went to a Welcome Home party for the family and were able to meet this precious little one that they had adopted. While Mike and I had talked about adopting I was never sure that we would. The very next day we left for a vacation to Gulf Shores. We spent much of the week talking about the adoption. It was then that we realized that it wasn't that important for us to have a child but that it was important for us to be able to love and raise a child. So in Jan. 2004 we went to a meeting to get some info about adopting from Ukraine. At that time we didn't really look at all our options. I'm not sure that I realized how many options there were. All I knew was that I was so touched by the stories that I heard and that this was where we were headed. We met many wonderful people along the way that I will treasure forever. Like anything we do the process became very slow (imagine that!) Our paperwork went to Ukraine in May and by August things had come to a hault. Finally in early December we got the letter that we had an appt at the NAC on Jan 12, 2005 (right at 1 year from when we had started). During that month we had things happen that made us feel like we should stop the process but how could we have waited this long and not go follow our dream? So on Jan. 10th we made the flight from Louisville, KY to Kiev, Ukraine. Two days later we went to the NAC to find our child. Once there we were told that there were no healthy children that day (we expected this so we pushed for them to show us something). Finally a file for a little girl almost 2 was placed in front of us. We were told she had a cleft palete and needed massage therapy for her shoulder. I knew we could handle this so we accepted and left the next night to go get our daughter. How amazing that felt knowing that we had a daughter! We got to the orphanage, talked with the director, and the little girl was brought into us. She was beautiful! We sat on the floor playing with her and checking her out. It was then that they showed us her shoulder and back and we found out she had spinal bifida and only 1 kidney. In a single moment our dreams were crushed. While we so wanted this little girl to be part of our family we felt we couldn't bring this her home knowing her life expectancy was so short. We weren't prepared for this. We waited another week for another appt at the NAC. During this week the director started changing the process and made it very hard to get another appointment. A week and a half later we finally got that appt but didn't feel comfortable with our options. We decided that it was in our best interest that we come home. To us this meant we would never be parents. Never in a million years would I have thought that this could happen. We arrived home and a week later I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant (now I know why I was so sick in Ukraine). For the first time I felt like this was going to happen, maybe this was God's plan for us. This must have been the reason we came home from Ukraine! Three weeks later we again miscarried.
The next few months were so hard on us. Being around any kids was very hard and I became very withdrawn from those social situations. It was during this time that China came into play. My friend Beth had just returned home from Russia with her son and we had a dinner for them. While out at the dinner a group of women sat at a table next to us with the cutest little Chinese girl. I couldn't stop watching her. Now, I'm a very shy person, so it took a lot for me to go and talk to them. Jen had been home for 5 months from China and had used an agency in Lexington by the name of A Helping Hand. She gave me all the info and told me not to give up on my dream. I still wasn't ready to put my heart out there but I did look into it. The next week I got a call from my friend Cyndee (she had started the Ukraine process and switched to China) and she also told me not to give up and that I should think more about China. This always stayed in my mind but it wasn't until August 2005 when I got a card in the mail telling me about a seminar A Helping Hand was having that I took any steps. I had no clue as to how I got this as I had never contacted them. I attended the seminar which was incredible. When I walked in I was greeted by Jen, the lady I had met months before. She had found our address and had given it to AHH in hopes that we would come. I couldn't believe she had went to all of this trouble. Mike had a prior obligation for a friends wedding so he was unable to attend. They were going to have another seminar in Oct so I signed us up as I wanted Mike to experience it first hand.
Now people may think I'm crazy but I have always believed in signs (I just don't always follow them!) In the few weeks before we went to the seminar I had lots of signs. I hadn't watched Adoption Story in some time and when I turned it on there was a family adopting from China and using AHH! I kept turning on the TV only to see stories that delt with China. We got a new resident at the hospital and she was from China. Of course everywhere I went I saw little Chinese girls. The last straw was when I had the TV on and the sound went out. I looked up to see what was wrong and across the screen it said A Helping Hand! I don't know why it was there and at that point I didn't care, I felt that it was my sign! So this is what lead us to China.
Now, I want to apologize to everyone for the slow down, it must be my fault!!! All I know is that everything we have been through, all of the heartache and years gone by will all be worth it when Emma is placed in our arms.
**Sorry for this being so long but I really did try to condense it. BTW, thanks Melissa for passing the torch! Now it's my turn. Stay tuned....

The progression:So it's come down to this> Omega Mom>Letters from the Zoo> The Singing Bird>Elsie Elsewhere>Chicago Mama>Sopapilla>Are we There yet?>Hope Springs>Jiaozi>Figlet>Bionic Valentine>Hao Bao Bao>Mortimers Mom>Jazzie & Tahlia>Ruby In her Own Time> hey ho, hey ho>Love Made Real>The Moon is Always Female>Buttercup>Waiting for Sprout>Somewhere in China...> TBG Happenings >Our Unforgottten Daughter >Awaiting Ava >Waiting on Emma >Lane's Red Thread